The world is rushing by this year, my year of anticipation … good things to come. Growth. Art. Trusting in self expression. I haven’t ignored those things. I did follow through on my goal of submitting some pieces to a mental health Art Gala. But, then the world came crashing down and the builders, the inventors, the optimists and engineers, in all walks of life, are putting it back together. Meanwhile, those of us willing to venture on in trades deemed ‘essential’ try to hold it all together.
In the wild this looks like chaos. Pirates and schemers, then fools and fearing, take centre stage, briefly I hope, while the brave and desperate struggle on bearing the load. Love, grace, kindness are qualities of life in these times. There are so many working to bring hope.
I’m not sure where I fit. My job is front line, monitoring and managing retail lines, encouraging and frustrating shoppers in turn. Some need the encouragement, others want to take more than their share. I get both sides of the feedback, not always in polite turns. But I come from difficult times, lived in abuse quite a while, so it’s not all unfamiliar or as shocking as it could be. Still there are days …. I sing or I cry. Both are gifts to myself. Expressions of dignity saying I’m here, I’m alive. I made it through all the tough years and I’ll make it through this. Hope is life. It’s the one true thing. I’ve learned to listen, to be open, and in my darkest moments, if I pause and look up, there is always someone willing to share some hope or some laughter. A reason to smile.
I have quirky humour, it helps. Not sure why, but ‘Ides of March’ came to mind writing this. I looked it up – that and the date. March 15th … Shakespeare’s reminder, a bad day for Caesar, and one that caught my quirk on the Lenten calendar. Key quotes for March 15th this Lenten year:
The Google note said – https://lectionary.library.vanderbilt.edu/texts John 4:15 The woman said to him, “Sir, give me this water, so that I may never be thirsty or have to keep coming here to draw water.” It caught my eye and curiosity. It fits my day and it’s demands. So I looked. Read that, and a second, Exodus 17:2 The people quarreled with Moses, and said, “Give us water to drink.” Moses said to them, “Why do you quarrel with me? Why do you test the LORD?”
Oh dear … water, water, where’s the water? Again, I have to smile. I’m so sorry Moses. Today, I know how you feel.